June is Pride Month, with the biggest parades usually happening over the last weekend of the month. And as Pride events become more and more polarizing, this is a good moment to reflect over the meaning of Pride.
I’m not proud to be trans
I’m not proud to be trans. It is nothing that I did, there is no achievement, I was simply born this way. But I could be proud of me openly living trans. It required courage to admit that I am not like the others. It required perseverance, to come out, despite all societal pressure to fit in. It required strength to endure the looks, the harassment, the political scapegoating. And it never stops, it continues day in and day out.
Yes, trans people are badass. At least the ones that are still around are. Because they have an incredible sense of who they are. Because they have the guts to thrive in a hostile world. But let’s not forget about the ones that are not like that. The ones that descend into utter darkness. The ones that become victims of hate. The ones that just don’t make it.
So, the next time you meet a trans person, keep in mind: That person is strong because otherwise they wouldn’t be here anymore. They are strong, not because they wanted to, but because they had to be.
Pride is the opposite of shame
And yet – I am not proud to be trans. Pride means something different: Pride is the opposite of guilt and shame. Pride means being openly out – as opposed to being closeted, oppressed, and invisible. As opposed to feeling guilty and ashamed, hiding one’s true self from the world, pretending to be someone else.
This is the spirit, in which Pride was established after the Stonewall Riots in 1969, when the LGBTQ community refused to continue hiding and fought back against harassment by law enforcement. When they demanded the right to be who they wanted to be, to love who they wanted to love, and to be recognized and included, instead of pushed to the fringes of society.
There is no straight pride
And then someone asks: “why there is no straight pride?” Well, because none of the statements made above apply to straight people. They were born straight. There was never a need to fight for recognition or acceptance. They never had to endure the side-eyed looks, the whispers, the insults, the harassment, the discrimination. They never had to experience violence because of who they are, they never had to fear that their human rights or their medical care would be taken away to please a political or religious group.
So, what do you want to be proud of? Fitting in? Being average? Sorry, but that’s just pathetic, especially when coming from people who also like to fling the word meritocracy around. And if you still feel it’s all unfair and that straight people deserve their own month: keep in mind that eleven months of the year are yours to celebrate your cis-hetero normative self. But any attempt to establish Straight Pride festivities remains LGBTQ-hatred in an easier-to-digest packaging.
Pride creates a safe space
Now, why can’t the LGBTQ community just celebrate in private? Why do their parades have to be loud, obnoxious, colorful, and flamboyant? Do we really need to see Dykes on Bikes, leather gays, and drag queens dancing on the street? Yes, we do – and again, there is a compelling reason.
Pride has to push the extremes, to create a big umbrella. An umbrella that is so wide, that it includes anybody, regardless how they might look or feel or identify. An umbrella that creates a safe space where anybody can be who they want to be. A safe space where nobody has to fear that they might be singled out or harassed. A space where, just for a little moment, anybody is encouraged to let go and be themselves, safely floating within a colorful river of accepting humans.
Is this really asked too much?
With heartfelt hugs, Liz